brokeup with exgf, got with a new girl, feeling guilty? help?
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after a big fight over with exgf about me wanting some space, I got with some new girl. Could be a rebound, but i really like her a lot. we gone places the first few weeks till i started becoming sad about everything. I miss my ex. I didn’t know I have to just give up everything i had with her. I felt that all the promises i made, like going on a picnic, some museum , …like if i didn’t fulfill it. Now i am with a new girl, I dont know how to treat her better because I keep thinking how awful i was to my exgf and how i didn’t keep my promises. What should i do next??
yeah, i shouldn’t dated another girl… but things just happened. sometimes i regret. but i keep thinking why we broke up.
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5 Responses to “brokeup with exgf, got with a new girl, feeling guilty? help?”
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You need to take some space between girlfriends. You need to deal with your feelings now before you get to far along. It won’t be fair to you, the ex or the new girl if you start off in a rebound relationship. I am posting an article for you that may help regarding rebound relationships.
Defining a Rebound Relationship:
A rebound relationship is one that occurs shortly after the break – up of a significant love relationship. If you are in a relationship but have distanced yourself emotionally from your relationship partner, you may begin a rebound relationship before you even leave the relationship you are in. If you move quickly from a long lasting relationship into another relationship then you are probably in a “rebound relationship.
Rebound Relationships Serve a Purpose: A rebound relationship is a distraction. It is a connection to another person that keeps us from having to experience the full extent of the emotional pain of our resent break – up. It is a misguided attempt to move on with our lives. Many people will jump back into the dating scene because they fear being alone. It’s a quick fix, one in which we can drown out our pain by reveling in the emotional intensity and passion of a new found love. It can be a lot more fun than dealing with the misery of a recently broken heart.
Great Expectations: Don’t go into a rebound relationship expecting your new partner to make up for the shortcomings and mistakes of the old partner. I like to call this the “knight is shining armor syndrome.” You may have just come out of a relationship that involved infidelity or abuse so, you turn around and expect your new partner to be able to make up for the pain you experienced in the old relationship. More than likely, all you will do is exchange one set of problems for another.
Too Fast, Too Soon: If you have spent years in a bad relationship you might be itching to make up for lost time. It’s human nature to want a committed, fulfilling relationship and that desire can cause us to leap into a rebound relationship full speed ahead. We may have a sense of urgency and a desire to make sure we get it right the next time around. Those are great motivators to have but, make sure that sense of urgency is not causing you to rush in the wrong direction.
Masking Your Pain: This is the biggest problem in a rebound relationship. Usually someone ends up being used and hurt as a result. If you are in a relationship to distract yourself from the pain of a broken heart then you are using another person. More than likely when that person has served their purpose you will move on, leaving them to pick up the pieces. Be honest with your new relationship partner about your intentions.
Being Used by The Rebounder:
If you find yourself in a relationship with someone who has recently broken off a long term relationship, be cautious. Don’t allow your new relationship partner to set the pace. If you do, you will find yourself in the middle of a whirlwind. You don’t want to be left in the dust once he / she decides to move on.
If you are single, out there looking for love and longing for a committed relationship you probably won’t find what you desire from someone on the rebound. If you do become involved with such a person be sure to let the relationship develop slowly and to take care of yourself emotionally.
Emotional Pain Doesn’t Kill:
Experiencing and healing the pain of a broken relationship helps us become people who are more compassionate to other people’s pain. Emotional pain won’t kill you; it’s what you will do to avoid that pain that might kill you. Or, at least make you wish you had not moved so swiftly into a new relationship. So, do yourself and any potential new relationship partners a favor and deal with the pain of your old relationship before moving onto another one.
you need to talk to your ex…i’m not saying get back with her or anything but you do need to talk to her. tell her how you feel and get everything off your chest. that way you’ll have closure and a huge weight will be lifted off you shoulders. on top of that you guys will have a better relationship (i mean friendship). after all that is said and done you’ll know how to treat your new girl and you won’t feel guilty.
if u feel u need some space u shouldn’t be dating other girl right after you broke up with ur ex
you are a very mean person. first, you break up with your ex and soon after, start another relationshpi with a new girl. thats just mean and disrespectful. now, you have a relationship with a girl that will likely not last long because you and still have intense feelings for the ex. neither relationship has a serious chance of working out and you have really made two girls lives miserable. the best thing to do would be to break up with both of them and tell them the truth. you really are a mean person!
I am in the same problem and it DOESNT make you a mean person. I think its because I dont know what i want yet. I broke up with her because i thought we werent connecting properly. I couldnt talk to her as much, but now i am regretting it. Now i hav a girlfriend who loves me and cares for me but i still find myself thinking of my ex.