Relationship Help - Best Friends

Posts Tagged ‘best friends’

How to get over your ex when he's your best friend?

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Okay, so I have a problem. My boyfriend of almost two years (a week from today would have been our two year anniversary) decided last week he just wants to be friends. He has been uncertain about coming to see me and transferring to my university to be with me (we met online years ago when we were 16 and are both in college now). He is one of those guys who can never be 100% certain about anything, but I told him he needs to be for this. Everything blew up from there and we ended it kind of bitterly last Friday because of it.

He has been my best friend in the world since we met each other and he feels mutually. He said if he couldn’t have anything else with me, he wants to keep our friendship most of all if nothing else. I feel the same, but after all of the crap he has pulled with me, it’s hard for me to get over it. The problem is, I am still in love with him and want to be with him. I know this is because it only happened a week ago and I need time to get over him. I know that as time goes on and I accept we aren’t together anymore that I will be able to get over it (I hope), but it’s hard to when we still talk frequently. We keep telling each other we need a break from each other, but we can’t seem to stop talking to each other because we always have been best friends and this has been our routine since we met, which is hard to break after years of practice.

He says that he still feels like we should be together and that we will work out, but he also feels like he just wants to be friends. He has a lot of personal stuff he needs to get through and he needs to figure out what he wants before we can ever think of getting back together and we both realize that. Neither of us wants to get back together and go through all of this again, so we know we need to spend time apart and figure out what we really want. The problem is, we just can’t seem to STAY apart. Every time one of us says "Okay, we need to have a break," it’ll start for a few hours or a day, but then one of us just ends up texting the other because we miss each other so much and we feel like we need each other even though we aren’t together anymore.

I guess what I’m really asking is how can I get over him when we are still so dependent on each other? There is so much more that goes into our dependence than I can begin to describe here, so please just believe me when I say we are truly dependent on each other in so many ways. We really are best friends and always were before and during our relationship and still are now after. I know we need time apart, but I don’t know how to separate myself from him without hurting both of us. He was my first boyfriend period, let alone long term, so I’ve never gone through this before and am looking for the advice of people more experienced with breaking up and who have gone through this when their best friend has also been their significant other. Any advice or words of wisdom or even just sympathies are welcome.

Thanks, everyone, for reading through all of this and taking the time to answer. I really appreciate it.
To Jason, I’m glad my answer helped you. Just believe me when I say she is completely focused and concerned with her dad right now and doesn’t need to be bothered with thinking of a relationship. I really think this will bring you closer, especially since she will see how supportive you are of her. You can email me at elven_princess_14@yahoo.com if you want to talk about it more.

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How to get your ex back , who's now your best friend.?

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We dated a little bit ago , then we broke up and moved and now live in the same area and are now best friends hang out every single day and talk on the phone for hours .. but he’s sorta seeing this other girl now . I just want to know how do you think i can get him back ?

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how to truly get over your ex boyfriend (work together, etc)?

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Really been struggling with this for months, and all the advice in the world from all my great friends isn’t really seeming to do anything.

Background:
My ex and I met through our job and quickly became really close friends. He liked me for a long time before I ever liked him in a romantic way. About a year and half after we had known each other, we started going on dates and nothing was too serious because I had to move out of town. I tried to distance myself from the situation, knowing I had to leave. Long story short, I moved away and he still liked me for months still texting me and calling me etc. I told him I had feelings but we both had to stop. After a year I decided to move back home for reasons unrelated to him and once I got home, we got together as a real couple.
Now, our relationship was really great at first and we were both having the happiest times of our lives. It ended shortly, within about 3 to 4 months for mostly reasons concerning our starkly different beliefs and his busy schedule, etc. I really loved him, and still do, but I knew that we had to break it off because with our differences, he was hurting me and it hurt him to see him hurting me. We decided to stay best friends, and real best friends, not just how couples say that and then never speak again.
The first few weeks after we broke up were very hard, but we still talked every day. Eventually we gradually stopped talking on the phone as much (besides seeing each other at work, which is also very hard.) I constantly gathered our friends together to try to maintain our friendship, but as time went on my ex seemed less and less inclined to be my friend right away. I asked him about this a few times, asking him to be open with me and tell me if he really did still want to stay friends and the first few times he said, "yes of course." the last conversation I had with him about it he was more honest saying that things will never be the same no matter what we do. he is pretty short with me at work most the time and he never initiates hanging out. i’ve tried to come to terms with the fact we can’t be the same as we were.
now, it’s been about 7 months since we broke up and some days i feel like im over him and some days it’s still pretty bad. When I see him with other people (especially girls, even though he’s not really dating any of them) I get very jealous and sad that I’m not a part of his life any more, I’m not one of his best friends like I used to be.
I’m turning into a crazy ex girlfriend, stalking his facebook page and finding info about this girl that I’ve concluded he has a crush on and has gone on a few dates with. He’s not the kind of guy who dates around or anything, and this girl looks nice and very pretty, but I get absolutely furious like someone is tearing my heart when I think about him with her and her replacing me.

I know it’s over. And it’s been over for a while. But I want to be truly happy for him. I want to get over this and be able to move on with my own life without having to seek attention from him, which I know is a longing for the past that I will never have again.

Sorry this is so long, but if you’ve stuck around enough to read all this, please lend me some advice. Thanks everybody!
I have gone a few weeks with no contact with him, but I still hear about him from coworkers/friends, or have to see him at work, or see his posts on facebook. I haven’t talk to him much at all the past month. I’m deactivating my facebook so I don’t have the urge to lurk his posts or who he talks to.

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How do I break up with my girlfriend tactfully?

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We’re both fourteen and we’ve been dating for a little over a month. We were best friends before we started dating, but she doesn’t want to be public about dating since we’re both girls and I can’t stand to be with her in secret.

Should I give her an ultimatum (go public or break up) or just break up with her? And how should I tell her this? Thanks in advance ^^ 10 pts for best answer!

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How do you get your ex boyfriend back?

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Basically I finally went out with my long crush (were also best friends) and then my so called friend slapped me, punched me and violently attacked me because I wanted to talk to him. She said I wasn’t allowed to talk to him unless it was a Wednesday and then the week after that he dumped me because I didn’t talk to him. What can I do to get him back? I sit next to him for everything. Please help me.
Please, I’m actually sobbing right now.

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what does it mean when you dream about your ex boyfriend's new girlfriend?

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i keep having this recurring dream about my ex boyfriend’s new girlfriend and me being best friends and hanging out and having these long deep conversations… i don’t get it cuz i absolutely hate this girl cuz she stole the love of my life from me and i’ve never been able to stand her since then. i don’t particularly know this girl but for some reason i keep dreaming about her and i being the best of friends… i don’t get it and i’d like some insight!

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how do i get my ex-boyfriend back? answer asap please! ='(?

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so here’s the thing.. me and my boyfriend have broken up for awhile but we still hang out a lot. he even goes to our house most often and eat with my family and go to church with me. problem is when i looked up how to get your ex back. i have done most of the no-no’s that you shouldn’t do after a break up like being to clingy, over nice, obsessive, needy. stuff like that. i even begged him to take me back and reasoned out the best way i could. i had a stupid breakdown. anyways, how do i redeem myself?? how do i hang out with him always (because we’re best friends) but still not be clingy at the same time? when i begged him to take me back, all he said was no. it really broke my heart. one of the reasons was because he thought i was cheating on him when i was just really being too over friendly to these guys. he even thought i had a one night stand with them which i think is ridiculous. anyways, when i asked him that if ever he was ready for a relationship, would he open his heart for me. he said he couldn’t promise me for some reason i don’t know. he doesn’t trust me anymore maybe. how do i solve this? it’s so hard. i even had a friggin breakdown when a begged him. halp! i need halp asap. please help me. sorry for the really long question. i just wanted to make my situation clear so that u could also give me clear advices. thanks so much!

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I'm feeling guilty.. I'm in love with me best friends exfiance, and my ex BF cousin.. we will get married…

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after 4 years knowing each other as he is my best friends BF and my cousins BF we used to hang out the 4 of us.. nearly every day 4 four years.. our friends were common all of them said that my friends bf and me are suitable bcuz of everything .. every time I sit with him I like him more but it can’t be and I never showed up.. he got engaged and I left his cousin cuz I never love him .. after a while he left my friend 2.. after 2 years of that failair relationships we hanged out 2gether as a best friends.. we moved and kissed and he said (I love u) and he wants 2 marry me..he said he wants to do anything just 4 me…
I feel guilty cuz my best friend still love him.. and she wanted to get him back the whole 2 years and I tried 2 help her and also cuz I was his cousin’s exGF.. My best friend felt that he we like each other and she said it and she doesn’t talk 2 any of us..
After I met alot of people he’s the only one I love the same way he is.
do I neglect everybody 4 my true love?

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how do you win back an ex boyfriend who has a girlfriend.?

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so my boyfriend dumped me for some girl three weeks ago. we still talk and stuff and we’re like best friends, we just don’t hang out anymore. i occasionally ask him about his girlfriend, he says he’s happy but they just don’t have the connection that we had. he says that he still cares about me and that i deserve a great guy and a great relationship. he still gets jealous if i’m with another guy and this morning he said he just called to make sure i wasn’t with another guy, which i thought was highly immature, yet amusing. when we broke up, he said that we will get back together once i mature and stuff. well… i have matured and we’re still not together. i really want him back, but i feel like i’m just wasting my time trying. what should i do?

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i want to win my ex back but dont know how, help me!!!?

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okay, so about 2 months ago, i broke up with my boyfriend, i still like him A LOT but i dont think he likes me. the reason we broke up is because he went to the beach with two of my best friends and i didnt find out until i called my friend and he answered her phone. he was the nicest guy ever though and i really would like to win him back. does anyone know how to help me?? i also wanna know if i over reacted about the whole beach situation. PLEASE ANSWER

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