Relationship Help - Crap

Posts Tagged ‘crap’

How to get over your ex when he's your best friend?

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Okay, so I have a problem. My boyfriend of almost two years (a week from today would have been our two year anniversary) decided last week he just wants to be friends. He has been uncertain about coming to see me and transferring to my university to be with me (we met online years ago when we were 16 and are both in college now). He is one of those guys who can never be 100% certain about anything, but I told him he needs to be for this. Everything blew up from there and we ended it kind of bitterly last Friday because of it.

He has been my best friend in the world since we met each other and he feels mutually. He said if he couldn’t have anything else with me, he wants to keep our friendship most of all if nothing else. I feel the same, but after all of the crap he has pulled with me, it’s hard for me to get over it. The problem is, I am still in love with him and want to be with him. I know this is because it only happened a week ago and I need time to get over him. I know that as time goes on and I accept we aren’t together anymore that I will be able to get over it (I hope), but it’s hard to when we still talk frequently. We keep telling each other we need a break from each other, but we can’t seem to stop talking to each other because we always have been best friends and this has been our routine since we met, which is hard to break after years of practice.

He says that he still feels like we should be together and that we will work out, but he also feels like he just wants to be friends. He has a lot of personal stuff he needs to get through and he needs to figure out what he wants before we can ever think of getting back together and we both realize that. Neither of us wants to get back together and go through all of this again, so we know we need to spend time apart and figure out what we really want. The problem is, we just can’t seem to STAY apart. Every time one of us says "Okay, we need to have a break," it’ll start for a few hours or a day, but then one of us just ends up texting the other because we miss each other so much and we feel like we need each other even though we aren’t together anymore.

I guess what I’m really asking is how can I get over him when we are still so dependent on each other? There is so much more that goes into our dependence than I can begin to describe here, so please just believe me when I say we are truly dependent on each other in so many ways. We really are best friends and always were before and during our relationship and still are now after. I know we need time apart, but I don’t know how to separate myself from him without hurting both of us. He was my first boyfriend period, let alone long term, so I’ve never gone through this before and am looking for the advice of people more experienced with breaking up and who have gone through this when their best friend has also been their significant other. Any advice or words of wisdom or even just sympathies are welcome.

Thanks, everyone, for reading through all of this and taking the time to answer. I really appreciate it.
To Jason, I’m glad my answer helped you. Just believe me when I say she is completely focused and concerned with her dad right now and doesn’t need to be bothered with thinking of a relationship. I really think this will bring you closer, especially since she will see how supportive you are of her. You can email me at elven_princess_14@yahoo.com if you want to talk about it more.

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Relationship Advice

PLEASE HELP! How to win him back? 10 POINTS for best answer?

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Okay so I have been talking to this guy for about 2 months online getting to know each other. Things were going well until his ex’s cousin hit me up & without knowing about his ex, I told her I liked him only to find out about his ex and how crazy she is about him, cuts herself and more. And she said they’re kind of cool again, hinting me to back off, which i didn’t want to as I didn’t completely believe her story. Since that day he hasn’t been talking to me the same. So i decided to tell him about it, but i lied to him about the girl telling me not to talk to him =/ and the convo went like this
Me:
omg that little girl was telling me stroies & told me not to talk to u! i didnt kno wat to believe ..i blocked her

Him : wtf ?

Me:she told me her cousin was crazy abt u & cut herself & stuff .. so told me not to talk to u =/

Him:wtf
man
idk wtf she duin

Me: dont worry .. i know ur a good person! i dont believe all that stuff!

Him:lmao
m dumb high all the time

Me: lol u need to come over my house oneday so u & me can chill
lol

Him:nah
m tired
n m movin
so m busy for week
llol

Me:oh i seeee!

Him:yeh
yeh
she told me yuh said yuh not talk to menow
n stuff
lmao

I PANICKED CUS i lied and I knew his ex’s cousin would’ve told him how i liked him & pitied his ex & asked her to see his ex’s pics to see what she looked like ..

Me: lmaooo wow ok! but i am talking to you? lol i mean if u or ur girlfriend dont want me to talk to u .. its fine

Me:lmao
f*** it ai

Me: idk i dont wanna hurt u or anybody else! if u dont want me to hit u up .. i understand! i wont be mad i promise =]

Him: Alright then

10 mins later
Me:ok i shouldnt"ve said all that crap -__- lol & i still wanna talk to u cus ur fun! =] is that fine? lol

Him:idc
idunt even kno wats goin on

Me:i dont either! can we just forget all that stupid stuff please?

Him:ai

And I didn’t continue the conversation as i was falling apart. I wish I never found out about his ex or dug deep in it. But It was my mistake, and I told him a lie too, and i felt so guilty, he used to be so cute to me, had a nick name for me & all that. I really like him, WHAT CAN I DO TO GO BACK TO BEING LIKE THAT?

Relationship Advice

How do you break up with a needy girl that might go psycho?

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My brother is going to break up with his girlfriend and it will come as a shock to her. Her and her family is trying to get him to propose and she wants a house and kids and all that crap. And she asks him about 200 times a day "do you love me? I love you" blah blah. And she says she can’t live without him and that he is the only one who can maker her happy etc. What happens if she goes completely nuts when he shitcanns her? Anyone with experience from a similar partner?

Relationship Advice

How do you break up with a needy girl that might go psycho?

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My brother is going to break up with his girlfriend and it will come as a shock to her. Her and her family is trying to get him to propose and she wants a house and kids and all that crap. And she asks him about 200 times a day "do you love me? I love you" blah blah. And she says she can’t live without him and that he is the only one who can maker her happy etc. What happens if she goes completely nuts when he shitcanns her? Anyone with experience from a similar partner?

Relationship Advice

What do you do when your ex-boyfriend is trying to start trouble in your new relationship by?

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Passing off rumors and messages to me and to other people that I like this one man who stays in the same apartment complex that I do. The guy seems to like me, but I don’t see him in the same manner. I love my husband, and I don’t do that crap.
My ex-boyfriend and his friends are so selfish. They don’t care who gets hurt about anything, they just want their cinamatic comedy… a good laugh and something to talk about. What do I do?

Relationship Advice

boy problem. help??

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ok should i really care what my ex bf thinks of me.?? we went out in march-may and then we broke up then we did’nt talk ever sense. then a month ago he tells me he hates me anf idk why?? he wont tell me… im the one that should hate him for dumping me to go back out with his exgf on the same day.!!! well anyways like 2 weeks ago i went camping with his sis and family and i avoided him the hole time then i went up to him and said sorry for whatever i did.. and then we were cool he did’nt hate me anymore.. then when i came back home and we were talkin on myspace and he was all mad at me again… and he still would’nt tell me why so i just left it alone…and these past few days i think im startin to like him again:/ then today when i was talki to his sis on myspace she said he called me a hoe and all this crap… im not a hoe so idk why im all pissed off.. should i really care what he thinks.??

Relationship Advice

get him back, keep him, stop ur divorce…. books, what do u think about this kind of books?

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there many many many books about this kind of things, u know like how to get your man back, how to stop your break up or divorce, and i was wondering if someone acutally have read any of this, if they work, if they’re just crap…. or just your opinion about it

Relationship Advice

Please help, why do friends gossip about you and your mate?

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Im having a problem that my exgfs friends are talking crap about me and telling my exgf not to go back with me. Why are they getting into our business when its not their problem? They have been gossiping and crap that im a player type when i was seeing a lot of girls( just friends) over the past two years that we were apart. We are thinking about getting back together and her friends are just so annoying now.. My exgf defended me and say that im a nice guy to her friends. Just needed to vent. Why do ppl do this?

Relationship Advice

How do you move past an affair and save your marriage?

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I am 25, and my husband is 27, we have been married for 7 years and share 4 beautiful children together. 4 years of our marriage were nothing but bliss and happiness, then he deployed and I with three kids got lonely and slept around a few times while he was away.

Now he is putting me through hell. He met a girl through work and they hit it off immediately, she makes him laugh and makes him happy, something he said he hasn’t been for so long…which I didn’t know, he pretended like things were fine at home, just a little stressed about work, which it was really his affair he was stressing about. So he wasn’t planning on it but actually fell in love with this mystery girl. Then he asked me to leave so he could continue his life with her because he couldn’t handle the unhappiness with me anymore, he only asked me to leave after I discovered text messages on his phone to her telling her "I cant wait for you to be my wife", and "I love you", "You have changed my life forever"…I mean what wife wants to read that crap. I have been on an emotional roller coaster every since.

He was going to give me three days to prove my love to him and I told him that I was not the one that needed to prove anything, I give him the choice to work things out at home and keep his children in his life or I would move a few states away with my kids and start over. Threes no way with his job that he could raise the kids on his own without having them in childcare constantly. So…He chose his family…I know this…however I still have the hardest time getting over what has happened. It has only been two weeks since I found out and I am still extremely paranoid and freak out every time he doesn’t call or comes home late or makes an excuse to get off the phone with me.

I feel like I am only tearing our marriage apart when all I truly want is to build it back up to what it once was. I know all marriages that last a lifetime go through their own issues, maybe not cheating, but difficult times. I just want to let it all go.

Every night it seems like I grab the bottle to help me get over this and go to sleep, otherwise I am up trying to figure out who this girl is or worrying about the time they spent together. He has only been having an affair with her for two months, however his heart is completely in it for her. So, I am trying to cope with my broken heart as well as his. I mean how can you just give 7 years up for 2 months, was it that great? Its comments like those that are just tearing us apart, but I feel I cant help myself.

All this pointless drama has started to affect our oldest son in school. He never had issues before, but now he is aggravating and acting out. For the most part I try to hide my feelings in front of the kids and we made a pact not to fight in front of them anymore, but hes old enough he can tell that we are unhappy. I was very happy before I found out my husband was cheating, now, I want to be happy more than anything, I just feel miserable and like I cannot move past this.

I just want to know if there is hope for us. I want to know that other people made it through and there were no more affairs later on…that he can let go of her. I was a strong believer that you take your marriage vows for better or worse, and this is defiantly worse, and maybe sickness too. Please give me your opinion, I want to save my marriage! This man still means the world to me and I adore him.

Relationship Advice

How can I get my ex-boyfriend back?

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There’s this guy I like. We dated back in September for about a week. I still like him. Well I liked him for a long while then I stopped but now I like him again. There’s only one problem… He’s a HUGE player. By the way I’m 13 turning 14 in September. I know a lot of people will say oh just get over him he’s just one guy there are plenty more out there besides your only 13. The thing is I love him I really do and I would do anything to have just one more chance with him.

I should probably mention one other thing. I was kinda obsessed with him foe a while. I didn’t mean to be but I couldn’t help myself. And now his mom hates me cuz I called to much. But i’m not that way anymore. I know how to control myself. Soo if anyone has any advice to get him back I would really appreciate it. And I don’t need anyone giving me crap about this because I’ve already hear enough from my friends. Thanks