Relationship Help - Friendship

Posts Tagged ‘friendship’

what does it mean if you dream about you and your ex boyfriend getting married?

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I had a beautiful dress and we didn’t go through with the marriage because we went into the house to talk and i had lots of gifts like shoes and a lot of others articles of clothing that i enjoy wearing but i also couldn’t clearly see his face but i am in love with my current boyfriend and i don’t even talk to ex boyfriend even though i miss our friendship. So what does this dream mean?

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How to get over your ex when he's your best friend?

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Okay, so I have a problem. My boyfriend of almost two years (a week from today would have been our two year anniversary) decided last week he just wants to be friends. He has been uncertain about coming to see me and transferring to my university to be with me (we met online years ago when we were 16 and are both in college now). He is one of those guys who can never be 100% certain about anything, but I told him he needs to be for this. Everything blew up from there and we ended it kind of bitterly last Friday because of it.

He has been my best friend in the world since we met each other and he feels mutually. He said if he couldn’t have anything else with me, he wants to keep our friendship most of all if nothing else. I feel the same, but after all of the crap he has pulled with me, it’s hard for me to get over it. The problem is, I am still in love with him and want to be with him. I know this is because it only happened a week ago and I need time to get over him. I know that as time goes on and I accept we aren’t together anymore that I will be able to get over it (I hope), but it’s hard to when we still talk frequently. We keep telling each other we need a break from each other, but we can’t seem to stop talking to each other because we always have been best friends and this has been our routine since we met, which is hard to break after years of practice.

He says that he still feels like we should be together and that we will work out, but he also feels like he just wants to be friends. He has a lot of personal stuff he needs to get through and he needs to figure out what he wants before we can ever think of getting back together and we both realize that. Neither of us wants to get back together and go through all of this again, so we know we need to spend time apart and figure out what we really want. The problem is, we just can’t seem to STAY apart. Every time one of us says "Okay, we need to have a break," it’ll start for a few hours or a day, but then one of us just ends up texting the other because we miss each other so much and we feel like we need each other even though we aren’t together anymore.

I guess what I’m really asking is how can I get over him when we are still so dependent on each other? There is so much more that goes into our dependence than I can begin to describe here, so please just believe me when I say we are truly dependent on each other in so many ways. We really are best friends and always were before and during our relationship and still are now after. I know we need time apart, but I don’t know how to separate myself from him without hurting both of us. He was my first boyfriend period, let alone long term, so I’ve never gone through this before and am looking for the advice of people more experienced with breaking up and who have gone through this when their best friend has also been their significant other. Any advice or words of wisdom or even just sympathies are welcome.

Thanks, everyone, for reading through all of this and taking the time to answer. I really appreciate it.
To Jason, I’m glad my answer helped you. Just believe me when I say she is completely focused and concerned with her dad right now and doesn’t need to be bothered with thinking of a relationship. I really think this will bring you closer, especially since she will see how supportive you are of her. You can email me at elven_princess_14@yahoo.com if you want to talk about it more.

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how to truly get over your ex boyfriend (work together, etc)?

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Really been struggling with this for months, and all the advice in the world from all my great friends isn’t really seeming to do anything.

Background:
My ex and I met through our job and quickly became really close friends. He liked me for a long time before I ever liked him in a romantic way. About a year and half after we had known each other, we started going on dates and nothing was too serious because I had to move out of town. I tried to distance myself from the situation, knowing I had to leave. Long story short, I moved away and he still liked me for months still texting me and calling me etc. I told him I had feelings but we both had to stop. After a year I decided to move back home for reasons unrelated to him and once I got home, we got together as a real couple.
Now, our relationship was really great at first and we were both having the happiest times of our lives. It ended shortly, within about 3 to 4 months for mostly reasons concerning our starkly different beliefs and his busy schedule, etc. I really loved him, and still do, but I knew that we had to break it off because with our differences, he was hurting me and it hurt him to see him hurting me. We decided to stay best friends, and real best friends, not just how couples say that and then never speak again.
The first few weeks after we broke up were very hard, but we still talked every day. Eventually we gradually stopped talking on the phone as much (besides seeing each other at work, which is also very hard.) I constantly gathered our friends together to try to maintain our friendship, but as time went on my ex seemed less and less inclined to be my friend right away. I asked him about this a few times, asking him to be open with me and tell me if he really did still want to stay friends and the first few times he said, "yes of course." the last conversation I had with him about it he was more honest saying that things will never be the same no matter what we do. he is pretty short with me at work most the time and he never initiates hanging out. i’ve tried to come to terms with the fact we can’t be the same as we were.
now, it’s been about 7 months since we broke up and some days i feel like im over him and some days it’s still pretty bad. When I see him with other people (especially girls, even though he’s not really dating any of them) I get very jealous and sad that I’m not a part of his life any more, I’m not one of his best friends like I used to be.
I’m turning into a crazy ex girlfriend, stalking his facebook page and finding info about this girl that I’ve concluded he has a crush on and has gone on a few dates with. He’s not the kind of guy who dates around or anything, and this girl looks nice and very pretty, but I get absolutely furious like someone is tearing my heart when I think about him with her and her replacing me.

I know it’s over. And it’s been over for a while. But I want to be truly happy for him. I want to get over this and be able to move on with my own life without having to seek attention from him, which I know is a longing for the past that I will never have again.

Sorry this is so long, but if you’ve stuck around enough to read all this, please lend me some advice. Thanks everybody!
I have gone a few weeks with no contact with him, but I still hear about him from coworkers/friends, or have to see him at work, or see his posts on facebook. I haven’t talk to him much at all the past month. I’m deactivating my facebook so I don’t have the urge to lurk his posts or who he talks to.

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How do I save my marriage in six months? If it can't be saved, how do I let go?

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Gentlemen:
If you gave your wife six months to save the marriage and told her she had a one percent chance of saving the relationship;
What would it take to save the relationship? What would you want to see? How could she build towards having a better relationship with you? What would drive you nuts?

My husband says he still loves me, he still flirts with me, we still make love, but he doesn’t think he can live with me anymore because of my mental instability. I’m now in therapy/counseling to resolve my issues, but I also need to rebuild the relationship so your advice will help.

Ladies:
How did you let go of your marriage and move on?
Did you ever wake up and find you didn’t know yourself anymore? What were your next steps for getting your life back on track?
Could you forgive your husband/ex, if he wanted to walk away from the marriage and still save the friendship?

All comments and advice are appreciated.

Cheers.
Additional Details:

Mental Instability in this case equals paranoia about his relationship with female friends, insecurity issues, PTSD, pms, and verbal abuse on my part towards him. Most of these existed before we were married, the paranoia about other relationships and verbal abuse began after he had an online affair and began hiding things from me, like talking to ex-girlfriends. (ie: Emotional Rollercoaster)

He is committed to seeing a therapist individually and going to couples counseling, so he is making some efforts to meet me half way. His cop out is that he hurt, well I hurt too – I’m not telling him to man up, I’m asking him to be honest with me.

We aren’t seperated, we currently live together. He ask me to move into a seperate room and then ask me back into ours when he realized he was putting up barriers between us.

And yes, I really want to save this marriage.

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How can i win by ex girlfriend back?

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I am a seventh grader. I have liked this girl for a long time. We have been friends for a long time. Recently I got a haircut and she liked it a lot. I was told she liked me so I asked her out and we went out for a couple of days. She texted me this morning saying that we were too good of friends to be dating. She also said that she was afraid that us dating good ruin our friendship. How can I win her back?

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How to win back an ex and regain lost trust?

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I was with an amazing girl since senior year of high school we were together 3.5 years, being that is started in high school we were both pretty immature, we went through a lot of hard times together a bad instance in high school before we were dating (not between us) but dealt with both of us, went through college together, and then i joined the army and am currently deployed, i love her more then anything and during the time we were together we had rough times as well as amazing times but we split apart twice and almost immediately got back together which was a mistake, i convinced her that we both needed to work on certain things and things would be better but they weren’t because we never took the appropriate steps to change things, she doesn’t trust me anymore because things never changed and i always told her things would be better, we broke up the day before i deployed because she had saw i looked at an ex girlfriends profile , which yes i know was dumb and i had absolutely no reasoning as to why i did it, im about 3 months into deployment and we didnt talk for most of it, now we have started talking and have been building a friendship in which we didnt have much of while we were dating, she knows i am still looking for it to go somewhere eventually but we arent going to rush it, she is not expecting it to but gives suttle hints like we will see how things are later and we will work on things when you can actually be home (when im out of the army) i want to prove to her i am ready to make things work for real and i will do anything to make it happen, what is the best way to approach this situation without coming on to hard but letting her know i am serious and i still care for her more than anything?

since im deployed i obviously cant see her unless i skype with her which i dont, but i instant message her and send texts to her phone from the instant messenger, i drop hints showing i am thinking of her and that i still care for her, but i dont think its enough, any serious thoughts?

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confused and mixed feelings?….?!?!?

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ok im in a very tangled and hectic situation….
there is this guy who i kinda developed feelings for..and sometimes i get the feeling that he likes me too..and sometimes my friends tell me that tooo….
but my friend, who also happens to be his exgf also still has feelings for him.
however, my friends dont relly know i have developed feelings for him….cause i relly dont want to ruin my friendship with my friend..cause shes one of my close friends :S
and i just dont know if he flirts with me to make my friend (exgf) jealous….he says he doesnt like her anymore but he is very secretive and discreet about such subjects.?

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would you wanna be with someone who…?

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His exgf and him are still really close, they arent together but they talk almost as much as I talk to him, .. I am ready to walk away.. would you put up with that?
.. we are 20, and 23. he broke up with her almost a year ago, and I know all they do is talk so its not like he is cheating, but his friendship with her bothers me

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would she having feelings for me still?

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It has been months since me and my exgf has spoken. But under all the mist of conflict and arguements we still retain our friendship. Though I keep a distance away from her, sometimes she shows signs of having feelings for me. So I really don’t know if she still cares for me or not. She also has shown signs of not caring at all. So I just don’t know any insights on what you all think?

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How can i win back my Ex Girlfriend?

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She is in a relation ship with this guy and its been about a year now.
We still see each other a lot and it kills me to see them together, normally I can get over these things easily but the breakup was so abrupt and i never really got a legitimate reason.

When we do talk and interact it goes really well but i feel like i cant tell her the way i feel because it would ruin our friendship.