Relationship Help - Job

Posts Tagged ‘job’

How do you know that your marriage is really over?

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My husband and I have been married almost 4 years. During year 2, he made the statement to me that he only married me to shut me up. I have not been able to let that go. Moreover, he continues to talk to women on the internet and think nothing of it, so I met someone too. Now that the shoe is on the other foot, I don’t think that he likes it. I want to leave, but I can’t find a job to save my life. Now what?

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How can I win back my ex-girlfriend?

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Hey … well here’s the deal. My girlfriend and I have been dating pretty seriously since July of 2007, and we loved eachother soooo much. Then at right about our year anniversary, we decided to move out and get an apartment together. Everything was going fine and smooth until I got laid off from my job. I’ve been looking for work as best I can, but with the economy the way it is right now, it’s tough! I’ve been out of work for about 2 months now, and things were getting stressful. I was getting stressed out because I don’t feel right letting my woman take care of me, because if anything it should be the other way around. And I also am not very good at handling my stress, so I would often times take it out on her. And I would always feel terrible for doing it because it wasn’t her fault.

So yesterday, we were getting into an argument and I decided it was time to end this argument. So I tried playing around with her to lighten the mood. So while she was in the bathroom brushing her hair I went in there and turned on the shower and tried to pull her in, just to be funny and cute. Well I guess she has some strange phobia of water because she started crying and digging her finger nails into my hands. At this point I was bleeding and she was hurting me, and something took over and I ended up slapping her, just once though. It’s not like I’m a wife beater or anything, but I felt TERRIBLE about it. Then we go our separate ways for the day and she comes back and tells me that she wants to leave me. So I beg and plead with her not to go and to stay and talk things out with me. So she stays for the night and we talk all night, and then she goes to work this morning. Then when she got off, she went home to her parents house, and her and her mom and dad came over and took all of her stuff and left. I told her that I was ready to change and be the man she deserves, but she had her mind set.

So is there any way at all that I could possibly try and win her back. Any advice is welcome, and I thank you all.

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how to truly get over your ex boyfriend (work together, etc)?

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Really been struggling with this for months, and all the advice in the world from all my great friends isn’t really seeming to do anything.

Background:
My ex and I met through our job and quickly became really close friends. He liked me for a long time before I ever liked him in a romantic way. About a year and half after we had known each other, we started going on dates and nothing was too serious because I had to move out of town. I tried to distance myself from the situation, knowing I had to leave. Long story short, I moved away and he still liked me for months still texting me and calling me etc. I told him I had feelings but we both had to stop. After a year I decided to move back home for reasons unrelated to him and once I got home, we got together as a real couple.
Now, our relationship was really great at first and we were both having the happiest times of our lives. It ended shortly, within about 3 to 4 months for mostly reasons concerning our starkly different beliefs and his busy schedule, etc. I really loved him, and still do, but I knew that we had to break it off because with our differences, he was hurting me and it hurt him to see him hurting me. We decided to stay best friends, and real best friends, not just how couples say that and then never speak again.
The first few weeks after we broke up were very hard, but we still talked every day. Eventually we gradually stopped talking on the phone as much (besides seeing each other at work, which is also very hard.) I constantly gathered our friends together to try to maintain our friendship, but as time went on my ex seemed less and less inclined to be my friend right away. I asked him about this a few times, asking him to be open with me and tell me if he really did still want to stay friends and the first few times he said, "yes of course." the last conversation I had with him about it he was more honest saying that things will never be the same no matter what we do. he is pretty short with me at work most the time and he never initiates hanging out. i’ve tried to come to terms with the fact we can’t be the same as we were.
now, it’s been about 7 months since we broke up and some days i feel like im over him and some days it’s still pretty bad. When I see him with other people (especially girls, even though he’s not really dating any of them) I get very jealous and sad that I’m not a part of his life any more, I’m not one of his best friends like I used to be.
I’m turning into a crazy ex girlfriend, stalking his facebook page and finding info about this girl that I’ve concluded he has a crush on and has gone on a few dates with. He’s not the kind of guy who dates around or anything, and this girl looks nice and very pretty, but I get absolutely furious like someone is tearing my heart when I think about him with her and her replacing me.

I know it’s over. And it’s been over for a while. But I want to be truly happy for him. I want to get over this and be able to move on with my own life without having to seek attention from him, which I know is a longing for the past that I will never have again.

Sorry this is so long, but if you’ve stuck around enough to read all this, please lend me some advice. Thanks everybody!
I have gone a few weeks with no contact with him, but I still hear about him from coworkers/friends, or have to see him at work, or see his posts on facebook. I haven’t talk to him much at all the past month. I’m deactivating my facebook so I don’t have the urge to lurk his posts or who he talks to.

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How can i win my ex-wife back?

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I gave my ex a hell of a time for the 6 years she was with me.
We have 2 children together, and the whole time we were maried, i did not have a job.
I used to treat her so bad it was ridiculous.
I would go out drinking and using drugs and tell her she was the one that should head out the door.
then about 2 months after she seperated from me, i was involved in a car accident that would forever change my life.
I shattered my skull resulting in a 2 week coma, only to wake up to divorce papers.
I fought my way through the divorce and won 50% custody.
She loved this as she grew up without a father.
I have since quit all substances, held down a job, and worked my way through 1/3 of my bachelors degree.
She is very nice to me and we still exchange christmas presents.
How can i win her back and show her that i am ready to be what i should have been all along.

The only complicated thing is now she is popular and has many hot, tall men that try to date her.
We were divorced over 3 years ago.
Well i had a good talk with her, and she said that she just does not feel that she could ever trust me again.

I am ok with that and will just need to accept it.
Thanks for all the great answers though.

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Am I wrong to take HER to court?

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I got my exgf pregnant and treated her very bad afterwards, I broke up with her then began a new relationship. I ended up getting involved with her neighbors daughter and married her, now my wife is pregnant with my child. My child’s mother put up with all my BS for the sake of our son, I would hardly give her any money and gave her a very hard time about everything she did. I eventually crossed the line and the police got involved, I have no issue with saying it was all my fault. She is a great mother and has turned her life around, I like to think my tough love had something to do with it. I also have no job. She works for a major company and I hear that she is dating a stock broker. I am oddly bitter and jealous. I have not tried to contact her in 6 weeks and am consdering taking her to court so I can see my son. btw I did not sign the birth certifcate.

I probably sound like a real jerk, but I am who I am and I want to see my son. is it wrong to push a custody suit on her?

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How do you move past an affair and save your marriage?

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I am 25, and my husband is 27, we have been married for 7 years and share 4 beautiful children together. 4 years of our marriage were nothing but bliss and happiness, then he deployed and I with three kids got lonely and slept around a few times while he was away.

Now he is putting me through hell. He met a girl through work and they hit it off immediately, she makes him laugh and makes him happy, something he said he hasn’t been for so long…which I didn’t know, he pretended like things were fine at home, just a little stressed about work, which it was really his affair he was stressing about. So he wasn’t planning on it but actually fell in love with this mystery girl. Then he asked me to leave so he could continue his life with her because he couldn’t handle the unhappiness with me anymore, he only asked me to leave after I discovered text messages on his phone to her telling her "I cant wait for you to be my wife", and "I love you", "You have changed my life forever"…I mean what wife wants to read that crap. I have been on an emotional roller coaster every since.

He was going to give me three days to prove my love to him and I told him that I was not the one that needed to prove anything, I give him the choice to work things out at home and keep his children in his life or I would move a few states away with my kids and start over. Threes no way with his job that he could raise the kids on his own without having them in childcare constantly. So…He chose his family…I know this…however I still have the hardest time getting over what has happened. It has only been two weeks since I found out and I am still extremely paranoid and freak out every time he doesn’t call or comes home late or makes an excuse to get off the phone with me.

I feel like I am only tearing our marriage apart when all I truly want is to build it back up to what it once was. I know all marriages that last a lifetime go through their own issues, maybe not cheating, but difficult times. I just want to let it all go.

Every night it seems like I grab the bottle to help me get over this and go to sleep, otherwise I am up trying to figure out who this girl is or worrying about the time they spent together. He has only been having an affair with her for two months, however his heart is completely in it for her. So, I am trying to cope with my broken heart as well as his. I mean how can you just give 7 years up for 2 months, was it that great? Its comments like those that are just tearing us apart, but I feel I cant help myself.

All this pointless drama has started to affect our oldest son in school. He never had issues before, but now he is aggravating and acting out. For the most part I try to hide my feelings in front of the kids and we made a pact not to fight in front of them anymore, but hes old enough he can tell that we are unhappy. I was very happy before I found out my husband was cheating, now, I want to be happy more than anything, I just feel miserable and like I cannot move past this.

I just want to know if there is hope for us. I want to know that other people made it through and there were no more affairs later on…that he can let go of her. I was a strong believer that you take your marriage vows for better or worse, and this is defiantly worse, and maybe sickness too. Please give me your opinion, I want to save my marriage! This man still means the world to me and I adore him.

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DO U THINK MY BF STILL HAS FEELINGS FOR HIS EXgf?

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My boyfriends ex girlfriend broke up with him broke in May, and we all worked at the same job. As soon as they broke up she quit and a few months later me and tom started going out. She never contacted him after they broke up. In about October, she returned to work and completely ignored him, she looked right passed him, but he was trying 2 give her trouble at work, and was so angry that she was back! He even got in trouble with the managers at work. She wasn’t doing anything to him when she came back and lately i’ve been noticing him staring at her. In the beginning i, she did talk about him just not understanding why he was being so cruel to her, but i do understand that. I am secure with myself but this girl is 100% Italian and beautiful. She doesn’t even look at him, but when i brought this up 2 him he says that i am crazy, and that he hates her and he wishes she never came back to work, and cant stand seeing her, but yet i see him stare at her still!
Or look at her when he thinks she isnt paying attention. He never really gets into detail why they broke up, but apparently it is bc people said he was mistreating her. he also got fired at one point then rehired quickly bc he is the inventory amanager n wanted 2 get transferred to the location she got just transferred to for the weekends. I thought that was wierd but he said it was just bc of the job. Do u think he still has feelings for her? I dont understand if he is with me, why he hates her so much? Why is he with me if he would have feelings for her?